why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
