remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We had sex on a dog bed..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My life is pants optional.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
