Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
