i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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