How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
