Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
