i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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