if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
