mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize