My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think a kid would responsible me up
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
