every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
