I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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