youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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