hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
