somebody snuck up and got me drunk
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
