I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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