Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
