Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
