he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
