i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
