you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize