omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
