He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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