You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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