try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
