he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
