that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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