Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
