How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
