Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
