I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
