Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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