There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
