You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
