i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize