never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
