You can't motorboat a personality
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize