I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
either way he was missing a nipple.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
