Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
