So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize