I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
