My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
