Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
