Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
