Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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