Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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