i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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