That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
