is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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