Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
