it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize