it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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