Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just invented taco cereal.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
