Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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