Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
