im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
