she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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